29 Facts About Jonathon Keats

Jonathon Keats was born on October 2,1971 and is an American conceptual artist and experimental philosopher known for creating large-scale thought experiments.

Jonathon Keats made his debut in 2000 at Refusalon in San Francisco, where he sat in a chair and thought for 24 hours, with a female model posing nude in the gallery.

Jonathon Keats's thoughts were sold to patrons as art, at a price determined by dividing their annual income down to the minute.

Jonathon Keats copyrighted his mind in 2003, claiming that it was a sculpture that he had created, neural network by neural network, through the act of thinking.

Jonathon Keats reasoned that, if he licensed out those rights, he would fulfill the Cogito ergo sum, paradoxically surviving himself by seven decades.

Jonathon Keats is most famous for attempting to genetically engineer God in a laboratory.

Jonathon Keats did so in order to determine scientifically where to place God as a species on the phylogenetic tree.

Jonathon Keats did so by recalibrating time to each person's heartbeat, and mathematically deriving a new length for the meter, liter, kilogram, and calorie accordingly.

In 2006 Jonathon Keats undertook several new projects, including two collaborations with other species: In rural Georgia, he gave fifty Leyland cypress trees the opportunity to make art by providing them with easels.

Jonathon Keats turned to himself as the subject of a lifelong thought experiment, undertaken through the act of living.

In Chico, California, Jonathon Keats opened the world's first porn theater for house plants, projecting video footage of pollination onto the foliage of ninety rhododendrons.

At Modernism Gallery in San Francisco the following month, Jonathon Keats developed new miracles, including novel solar systems and supernova pyrotechnic displays, which he made available for licensing by gods.

Jonathon Keats brought his honeybee ballet to San Francisco in 2008 as part of Bay Area Now, the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts triennial.

Jonathon Keats erected the first temple devoted to the worship of science, dubbed "the Atheon", in downtown Berkeley, CA, a public art project commissioned by the Judah L Magnes Museum and funded with a grant from the University of California.

In early 2009, Jonathon Keats was an artist-in-residence at Montana State University in Bozeman, where he opened the world's second porn theater for house plants, based on the porn theater he opened in Chico, CA in 2007, but in this case catering to an audience of local zinnias.

Jonathon Keats composed a song to be performed by Mandeville Creek on the MSU campus, orchestrated by rearranging rocks melodically, using the musical structure of the medieval rondeau.

Jonathon Keats produced an online version of the movie for viewing by plants at home, posted by Wired News Following an AFP wire story, news of the travel documentaries was reported worldwide, though not in Italy.

Reasoning that the Big Bang was "divine coitus", Jonathon Keats screened a live feed from the LHC on a votive altar.

Jonathon Keats opened his "porn palace for God" at the alternative art space Louis V ESP in Brooklyn, New York.

Jonathon Keats turned his attention to flora again in early 2011, opening a "photosynthetic restaurant" where plants could enjoy "gourmet sunlight".

Jonathon Keats catered to plants elsewhere in the world by publishing a recipe book and producing TV dinners for plants, which could experience gourmet sunlight vicariously through the changing colors on a television screen or computer monitor.

In May 2011, Jonathon Keats presented New Yorkers with an alternative to marriage that dispensed with governmental formalities, promising instead to bind people together by a law of nature.

Jonathon Keats adapted the methodology of quantum entanglement, which is used in physics laboratories to make two or more subatomic particles behave as if they were one and the same.

Jonathon Keats opened a "Microbial Academy of Sciences" in January 2012.

Jonathon Keats is the art critic for San Francisco magazine, and writes about art for publications including Art in America, Art + Auction, ARTnews, and Artweek.

Jonathon Keats is a book critic and journalist, and his reporting for Popular Science has been included in The Best American Science Writing 2007.

Jonathon Keats is a writer and commentator on new language, the Jargon Watch columnist for Wired Magazine the author of a devil's dictionary of technology, and a book of essays, "Virtual Words: Language on the Edge of Science and Technology", which Oxford University Press published in October 2010.

Jonathon Keats is a fiction writer as well, the author of two novels, The Pathology of Lies, published in English by Warner Books, and Lighter Than Vanity, published exclusively in Russian by Eksmo.

Since publication, the most persistent question has been whether the author Jonathon Keats is the same person as the conceptual artist.